I have always yearned to write at least one book. It is a natural progression as I have always loved reading and being transported to different worlds without having to leave my cozy nook. I will write a book.
It is an open secret I shared to my family, friends, and anyone who cares to read my blog, and is probably the only acceptable factor before I am completely able to say I have made it in life. I will write a book.
I have a Pinterest board filled with pins on writing techniques and encouragements, and I have already purchased more notebooks that I can use in this lifetime, justifying to myself that they’ll be my writing journals that will document my book-writing process. I will write a book.
The goal has always been to avoid the land of undeveloped plots, but as far as goal-settings go, I got a huge disparity between expectation and reality when I failed to finish a novella I tried to write last year. It was a rude awakening, but I embraced it. After all, what other choice do I have aside from swallowing my pride, dusting myself off, and trying again?
And try again I did. I finished a Young Adult short story through an online class spearheaded by local author Mina Esguerra and sponsored by Buqo wherein everyone who finishes within the deadline is given an ebook publishing contract. I always say I’m happiest when I make, no matter what form: a simple blog post, a crappy watercolor painting, or anything I DIY, but I learned that it’s a completely different world when you create a completely different universe and give life to characters. Still, putting it out there is a different story. I consider finishing my short story Once Upon a Sticky Note one of my biggest, bravest, and scariest accomplishments so far; the idea of baring myself and opening my work to critique and/ or ridicule is enough to make me want to walk inside the closet and not stop until I reach Narnia, but in the name of all that is good and holy I WENT AHEAD AND DID IT.
And it paid off well in the form of people’s reviews and comments saying how they loved what I wrote.
Naturally, I thought the next step would be to dare to do more. Armed with the knowledge that I finished 6,402 words by clocking in three to five hours a night for four nights and pretty confident that I have a solid continuation for Nate and Tanya’s story, I signed up for Spark NA, another online class headed by Mina, this time sponsored by Anvil Publishing’s Spark Books Imprint. Whoever finishes a 20,000-word New Adult story will be awarded a publishing contract.
I didn’t finish my story.
I couldn’t even understand what was wrong. With the deadline looming closer and closer, I expected my creative juices to come and save me from this can’t-put-feelings-into-words predicament, but NO. The magic just wasn’t happening. I seriously doubted myself and my abilities. What if I’m just okay with short stories? What if I really can’t do novellas? What if I just got lucky with the first one and now I won’t be able to replicate that luck? What if I’m really not good enough?
With only a couple of weeks left, I breathed deeply, dusted myself off again, and decided to scrap what I have and start from the top.
It didn’t work out.
So I got stuck a couple of times. So what? The frustration I felt at not being able to finish the stories I intended to write doesn’t compare to the bliss I felt when I saw my finished work being enjoyed by other people. I recognize that I need to be able to manage my time and be more disciplined, and I am sure I will be unstuck again. After all, my characters and outlines are still with me, and someday they’ll move out of the land of undeveloped plots.
I’m looking forward to that.
