The Fantasy of Romance

He’s sitting on the plane next to you, three rows ahead in class, on a computer somewhere across town, messaging you.

Or, maybe he’s standing across the room, smiling at you the way you never believed another person would again.

We’ve all been there. At the moment we least expect it, he shows up. And just like you swore you never would, there you go again.

You fall in love.

Now, let’s skip over this bit, because we all know how it goes. He’s charming, it’s wonderful, and everything is perfect – well, until it’s not. And then there’s a potent combination of [fighting, crying, breaking, cheating, pillaging, flustering, exploding], all the emotionally-charged words you can think of, and then, it’s over.

Ta da. You’re back at square one. And you’re sitting there with your laptop and glass of wine waiting for your flight home after visiting your grandparents and seeing what your hypothetical sixty-year marriage could (but probably won’t) look like. There’s nobody cute at the bar, and there’s probably going to be a middle-aged hypochondriac named Gertie sitting beside you on your flight home (which will require another glass of wine, let’s be honest). So now what?

We pick ourselves back up, we learn to trust again (etc… etc…) And we’ll be fine! If romantic comedies accurately predict anything, we know that we will be just fine. But in the meantime, why not harness what we have? Why not take those pent-up &$%#@!!!!!! emotions and do something useful with them?

Like write.

Like write an emotionally-charged book with emotionally-charged characters.

So when you’re in that dark spot and chowing down on that metaphorical tub of ice cream (when it’s metaphorical it’s calorie free!), grab your laptop or nearest notepad and write about it. When we write romance, we’re able to go back to the very start – that first look, or conversation, or kiss. How did you feel? What did the room smell like? Was he looking at your eyes, your lips? His cell phone? And then later, when was the first moment, deep in your gut, that you knew it would end? And how did that realization come about?

Make a list of all of it. Jot notes or bullet points. Disjointed sentences, scribbles, and diagrams. Write down words, phrases, emotions, anything – and then later, mix it up. Layer it into your own fictional fantasy world.

We’re writing fiction, remember? Fantasy. It doesn’t have to be real life. All we’re doing is taking the most interesting bits of real life, and shaking it up. Making it come alive. You loved and you lost, but you gained some valuable experience. Insight into yourself and another human being.

Change the setting, time and place, and for god sakes don’t make yourself the protagonist. ‘Jack’ the ‘ex’ in the book doesn’t have to be your ex, and ‘Jill’ our local hero doesn’t have to be you. It’s probably more interesting if it weren’t.

But you can harness your experiences, those raw emotions, and channel them into your writing. Challenge yourself. Pick out the good, the bad, the ugly, and the disgusting and pepper it into different characters, plotlines and scenarios.

Imagine you just H-A-T-E something about your ex; why not use that characteristic as a flaw in your hero or heroine, rather than the villain? Remember that time your ex did [blank] to you?!?! How can you make that story bigger, that fight afterwards more dramatic?

Transcend that moment. Throw the shambles and feelings of your life, coming apart at the seams, and use it to make you a better writer. Make your characters, your love story more interesting.

Whether you’re writing upmarket commercial fiction, genre romance, or just threading a good love story into your literary masterpiece, the characters are what will make that relationship, their story interesting. Compelling.

The fantasy – your fantasy – was real for a while, wasn’t it? We can’t relive our own fantasies gone and past, but we can learn from them. We can take the highs, the lows and the lessons and put them down on the page. Make our created fantasies a little more real.